While I'm on a roll about smoking, I figured I'd shed a little light on what I mean by "dispelling the hillbilly myth" that's mentioned on my blog banner for any of you curious cats. Although I'm a native Ozarkian, I've actually lived on each coast of the United States. In my travels and from the mouths of various transplants to the Ozarks, I've heard all the funny jokes about hillbillies, rednecks and Southerners. Really, they're great. *tongue planted firmly in cheek* I figure I can treat all these fabulous sayings about my people by tackling them on a "first come, first serve" basis and I'll treat them as if I'm dining on an elephant; one bite at a time. So here goes nothin'!
Hillbillies are not the only folks who smoke corncob pipes. You want proof? Well, I've got it! Case in point #1 - General Douglas MacArthur. I think we can all agree that Dugout Doug preferred the elongated corncob pipe only smoked by gentlemen of rather large stature. I'm positive the size of that pipe was not in direct correlation to the size of his ego. The good general was born in Little Rock. Just so we're straight on this, the capital city of Arkansas is not included in the Ozarks. Our mountains just don't extend that far. No hillbilly here!
Case in point #2 - Popeye. I don't know which state Popeye hails from but I guarantee with that accent of his, he's a Yankee, through 'n through! Popeye's a sailor...not a hillbilly. The only character from the Popeye cartoons anyone in their right mind would even confuse with a hillbilly would be Wimpy. If it's not plain to you why that would be, I'd be delighted to explain it to you in private. *giggles*
Case in point #3 - Frosty the Snowman. Yep, that's a corncob pipe whether it looks like one or not. Remember the song, "...with a corncob pipe and a button nose and two eyes made out of coal"? It's pretty obvious to me that Frosty's not an Ozarkian snowman. He's much too rotund for the amount of snow we get in these parts. Now I'm not pickin' on Frosty as I'm pretty rotund, myself. I love Frosty! In fact, I might have to crank up the A/C tomorrow, grab a blanket and a cup of hot chocolate and snuggle up with Jacob to watch our dvd. Last but not least...Case in point #4 - This Guy. I can't tell you who this man is, where he lives or much of anything really so how 'bout I just make up what I see when I look at this picture? I believe this man's a jovial sort of fella. He's married to a woman who apparently doesn't mind her honey out on the town at the local pub drinking a cold one. He's the type of man who tips his hat to the lady on the street, laughs heartily at little children at play and enjoys a friendly game of billiards with the boys on Friday night. Although I know next to nothing about This Guy, I actually do know two things. He loves him a corncob pipe and he is most certainly NOT a hillbilly. Hillbillies drink their suds from a can on the front porch. Furthermore, a hillbilly dearly loves a hat but well, no offense...not this kind.
I truly hope you've enjoyed this little dissertation! By the time I've posted about a dozen of these lessons, you'll be able to detect a hillbilly - or determine who isn't one - at a moment's notice. Keep reading and hopefully this newfound knowledge I bring to you will come in handy...even in your neck o' the woods!
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